Update 1

I know. I haven't been blogging. Well, you see the Internet went out at work. Then, shortly after that, work blew up.


"I can't blog anymore, Angela. My office looks like The Alamo."

"Sorry, Bennet. The days of Primatech are over," she replied. "Driver, stop here. I need socks."

So, being unemployed, I had no choice but to go job-hunting.

I decided I'd call up my old friend Michael Scott at Dunder-Mifflin.


Oddly enough, I was informed that Michael Scott left to start his own paper company. An interesting development. I quickly called him up at his new place of business. Surely he'd be needing a right hand man at the firm.

"How well can I catch cheese puffs in my mouth?" I repeated the question. Was this another one of Michael's silly jokes? I really didn't know how to respond. "Well, Michael, I don't eat cheese puffs. They're fattening."

"Sorry, Noah," he replied, "we've already got two employees, and that's all I can afford at the moment."

"Actually, you can't afford that," I heard a young boy say.

Michael shushed him and said, "Hey, but maybe in the future. We're sure to be a Titanic of industry soon."

And so, with my options exhausted, I turned to welfare. It was an odd feeling walking into the cold, dull government building. I looked at the long line of lifeless faces. After several hours, I made it up to the desk.

"Hi. I was recently laid off. I used to be a secret paper salesman."

"Hmmm..." the clerk said. "One moment." She clicked away at her computer for a few minutes, then said, "Yes, it looks like we've actually got an opening in a new secret government organization."

"Government?" I thought about how my skills would surely go to waste in such a menial position. But then I realized that with this economy, and the US on its way to socialism, a government job is the only secure thing right now. "Do we get Martin Luther King, Jr. Day off?"

"Yes."

"I'll take it!"