Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Greatest Post in the World

The day's work began wearing on me. With Angela in a coma, many paper responsibilities fell to me. All the administrative work was much more stressful than simply shooting people. So, I as quitting time was approaching, I found myself very, very tired.

I trudged down a long and lonesome hall. All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon in the middle of the hall. At first I thought I was hallucinating due to my exhaustion.

"You're not real," I said to the red creature from Hades. I grabbed a sheet of paper, crumpled it up and threw it at the beast. "See?" I said expecting the paper to pass through him. Instead, it bounced off his devilish chest and fell onto the floor.

"How dare you toss paper at me, mortal!" it cackled in a sinister voice.

I realized the demon was genuine and asked, "What do you want?"

"Your soul!" it replied and then burst out several vile guffaws.

"I don't have a soul," I replied. "Do I?"

His evil laughter stopped as he thought it over. Scratching his chin, he said, "Well, I never really thought about it."

"Okay," I replied. "It's almost quitting time. I still need to write a post on my web log, so if you don't mind..." I tried inching past the demon.

He pushed me against the wall with his demony claw and said, "A web log, huh?" His fiery eyes focused deep into my own and he said, "Write the best post in the world....or I'll eat your soul!"

I almost peed my pants! Not because I was scared, but probably because his paw was pressing right into my bladder. "Okay," I answered his challenge, "I just need to get to my computer."

He followed me to my office where I took a seat at my desk. I stretched out my arms, popped my fingers and shook out the tension from my shoulders, then placed my fingers on the home keys.

I began typing away the first thing that came to my head. It was as though God himself was inspiring my every keystroke. As the demon watched over my shoulder he began trembling in fear. He and I could both see what was happening before our very eyes. The blog post was coming together wonderfully, even perfectly. There could be no better words typed!

I wrote the best post in the world.

With a snort, he asked, "Be you an angel?"

"Nay!" I responded proudly putting my hands to my hips. "I am but a man in horn-rimmed glasses!"

Then, I proceeded to rock out on air guitar.

The beast was forced to let me go. He mentioned something about being bound by an honor code. In a puff of smoke, he disappeared.

Unfortunately, my Internet connection was down, so I wasn't able to save the best post in the world. I couldn't remember it either, but peculiarly it was nothing at all like this post. This post is just a tribute.

And once I get my Internet connection restored here at the office, I should resume regular posting.


Claire B said...

You should name this post something else like, I dunno, the paperclip of destiny?

kelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
captain koma said...

Are you the worlds toughest Henchman or woman or what ever the hell you are?

Test your foridable skillz against the best in the biz.

its not just a game, its a business.

Anonymous said...

What are you up to, now?

Anonymous said...

Hey, where are you?

Bosh said...

lol this post strangely reminds me of a song by Tenacious D

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