Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Family Dinner

After a tough first day being back with the company, I arrived home to enjoy Sandra's wonderful cooking. She had prepared a bucket of fried chicken, even printing an old man's face on the side.

"Delicious," I raised a drumstick to her.

The rest of the family stared at me. Their food was untouched. Finally, Claire spoke up, "Have a nice day at work, Dad?"

I didn't appreciate her tone. "I don't appreciate your tone," I said.

"I don't appreciate your ethics!" she replied.

Seeing as she was a cheerleader, I was surprised she knew what ethics were.

"Who," she asked accusingly, "did you kill today, Dad? Or did you bag and tag some first graders?"

"Oh, Claire Bear. I can't tell you who I killed. But it was fun...I mean, for the best. It was for the best."

"Oh, let's change the subject!" Sandra interrupted. "Say, Claire," she touched Claire's hand. "Did you see your bio-daddy on TV today? He is so handsome."

I glared at Sandra through my horn-rimmed glasses.

"Not as handsome as you, honey," she added.

Claire asked, "What was he doing?"

"Oh, I don't know. Some press conference, before he was shot."

I took a drink of tea.

"Shot?!?" Claire jumped up from her seat.

I quickly shot the tea out of my mouth. "Shot?" I said. "Well, I for one am shocked! So shocked I spit out my tea. Did you see how shocked I was?"

"Yes," Sandra replied.

"Haha!" Lyle chuckled, "You spewed all over Mr. Muggles!"

"It was you!" Claire said.

"Of course it was him," Sandra responded. "He was the only one that spit out tea. Who else would have spewed all over Mr. Muggles?" She picked up the terrified pooch. "Oh, you are a mess. We're going to need Mr. Muggles's doggie bath. Yes we are!" She poked Mr. Muggles on the nose and left.

Claire just stared at me.

I took a bite of my food and said, "This chicken is delicious."


West said...

Man, now I wish that I was still welcome at your house. I've been hankering for extra crispy all day.

Do you think you could put a plate on the windowsill for me?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Nothing beats a well timed spit take.

Anonymous said...

This is so funny!

Sandra is back!

Claire B said...

You are so mean! Shooting my hot bio dad, how could you?!

Anonymous said...

Well,he got to show his hotness