Tuesday, September 23, 2008

No Job is Finished Until the Paperwork is Done

I had just finished up with some paperwork of my own and went back to playing bounce-the-ball-against-the wall when Elle came into my cell.

It was quite shocking. Not that she zapped me, I was just surprised to see her.

My imprisonment didn't last long. Which is a shame. I had converted a favorite game of mine, bounce-the-prisoner-against-the-wall, into a single player version. I was looking forward to playing my new game all day.

"Like, I am totally freakin' out, Mr. B," she said and tossed me a gun. Apparently her father was killed by Sylar and she wanted my help.

Long story short, I kicked Sylar's brain-eating butt. After that, I had a talk with Bob.

"So, Bob. We need to talk."

He was silent. Deathly silent.

I continued, "I know we had an agreement that I work with you and in exchange you stay away from Claire. But as it turns out, you guys just lost a ton of supervillains. They're all out on the loose, and I need to stop them. Now, now," I said before he could respond, "I know you don't like me and my so-called rogue behavior. But you know I'm the only man for a job this big. Those people are dangerous. I may not have any powers, but I'm good at shooting people. And to be honest, I've been dying for someone to shoot recently. I was excited when you offered me my job back. I thought you would send me to kill Nathan. I really think I was the man for that job, but hey, you went with some freelancer instead, that's fine. Who was it if you don't mind me asking?"

He didn't reveal that secret. Even in death he managed to keep so much from me.

"Alright, well I understand. My point is, it should have been me. And next time it will be. You've got a mess on your hands, Bob...and actually your face is kind of dirty too," I offered him a Kleenex. "But I'm going to clean up this mess. It's what I do. Those villains are on the loose, and it's my obligation as a father, as a paper salesman and as a person who likes to shoot people to see to it that they are stopped. You can't stop me, Bob, so don't try it. Someday, when you have a daughter, you'll understand."

I left dramatically without giving him a chance to respond to my eloquent monologue. It felt good. Good to have a gun in my hands. Good to know there are so many people out there waiting to be bagged and tagged. It feels like college all over again.

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