Monday, September 29, 2008

Rule of Two

Even if I took on an alias and was cunning in my attack on the villains, it would still be a difficult task to take them down. That's why The Company always insisted on pairing up a human agent with a mutant agent.

"We're not mutants!" Elle cried. "We're human beings and we deserve respect! And access to the employee lounge! And Manolo Blahniks!"

I suppose I could ask her to help me take on these villains. Sure, she's an annoying, spoiled brat. But she can zap people. Plus, it's her fault they're loose, so maybe guilt would motivate her.

Or maybe Sylar. Sure, he's a turd of pure evil, but if I trick him into thinking he'll get to eat villain brains, he'd be more than willing to help me out.

Or Dick Cheney, but again, turd of pure evil and I'd have to offer him villain brains to eat.

If there's one thing watching the Star Wars saga bi-weekly has taught me, it's the importance of the Rule of Two. Sith and Jedi alike adhere to this fundamental law.

The best of the good guys work in pairs:

Ronald Reagan and The Pope

Chip and Dale

Superman and Spider-Man

And so too do the greatest of the bad guys:

Jafar and Iago

Simon and Paula

George Bush and The Easter Bunny

As you can see, being in a duo, whether ambiguously gay or not, is imperative. I'm going to have to take on a partner for this job.

"Bennet, my office, now," a cackling and sinister voice called out from Bob's old office.

I walked in to find Angela Petrelli seated in Bob's former chair, his corpse tossed onto the floor nearby. "You have to stop these villains, Bennet," she said, "and I've got just the partner for you."

Oh, boy! I hope it's The Easter Bunny.


Elizabeth said...

I bet it's Sylar. Nobody likes Elle.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I see what you're saying about the duos and all, but what about people like me who are loners, rebels, lone wolves trying to get by in a universe that they never made.