Claire!

I finally found her! Sprague, Parkman and I arrived in New York at some plaza or something and she was there with Peter.

I think Peter's about to explode. "Peter's going to explode!" Claire said.

"That's great hun. Wait until you hear what I've been through! Lots of things happen on a trip across the country."

"We don't have time, Dad! We have to help Peter."

"Listen young lady, you may be a fugitive, but you're still my daughter and you're going to listen to my tales. We can worry about Peter later."

Ted said, "Me want hear story!"

Peter started glowing a lot.

"So," I began, "Parkman here was the navigator, and before we knew it, we wound up in Hobbs, New Mexico. New Mexico, Claire! Ha! You'd think something like that would only happen in a wacky comedy movie, but it's true. Poor Parkman....we gave him a hard time about it."

"It's not my fault," Parkman said, "I have dyslexia!"

"Haha, dyslexia, good one!" Ted said. He started jumping up and down hollering, "Dyslexia, dyslexia! Me got dyslexia...look! Me go wrong way." He ran into a pole and we all had a good laugh at Parkman's expense.

"Now can we save Peter?" Claire asked.

"Wait, there's more!" I said. I proceeded to tell her about our travels, but then I got a great idea. "Wait!" I said and pulled out my laptop. "I'm going to write about the trip in my blog too."

Oh, Claire was so anxious to hear about my journey. She couldn't wait. I guess that's why she kept telling me to hurry and get on with it. But like any good story, timing is key. You can't rush 'em, you have to build the right about of suspense.

Nervous

Are you as nervous as I am? Probably not. No, it's not because Other Me is off to New York. New York is a nice place, I've been there several times. There's no danger there.

I'm worried about being voted off of Last Gladiator Standing 2!

I'm also worried about weight gain. The challenges have been mostly physical, so I'm getting my exercise, but the food here is amazing! I don't know what it is exactly, some kind of alien grub, I suppose. But I can't stop eating it! It's way better than Sandra's cooking, which isn't saying much.

I'm thinking I should bring my son, what's his name, up here. He's such a scrawny little dude. It's shameful as a father for me to have a kid that puny. But this food should put some meat on his bones. It'd be good for him, and good for his ego. When you're buff, or even just fat, you feel capable of taking on the world. No matter what it throws at you, barring of course mental anguish from being obese, you can make it through.

Of course, fat people are also dangerous. If one ever manages to get up to top speed, nothing can stop 'em. That's why I don't encourage having Svetlana participate in these challenges. It's an accident just waiting to happen! I already was almost killed by her large bosom. It's not as fun as it sounds.

Losers!

Well, it's me again. The Mr. Bennet that's competing in Last Gladiator Standing 2. And I'm scared!

Our team lost. I don't blame my teammates, though, despite their incompetence. And their foul odor. And their general ugliness. No, I blame the self-obsessed politician that managed to win immunity for his team! Boo, Nathan! Boo!

I fought hard. This was the toughest challenge yet and I did the best, for sure! Yet, I didn't win. Why? Because of that evil Republican. I suspect the judge is Skull & Bones. That's the only explanation!

Just a Link

-.-

LOST

Well, Parkman and I watched our TV shows.

First it was Thank God You're Here. Parkman was laughing the entire show! If there were any jokes, I probably missed them because of the noise he was making.

But everything got quiet when LOST started. We were ready. We've been waiting too long. And finally, it was here!

I don't want to give away any spoilers, so I won't say what happened.

Well, okay, here might be some spoilers. I was sitting there watching the show, and all of a sudden Matt yells, "Gah! Thanks for ruining it for me."

"What?" I said. "I didn't say anything."

"You knew Locke's dad was the real Sawyer!"

"Everyone did."

"Well, I didn't!" Matt looked like he was going to cry, "Now, I know what's going to happen. Locke's taking Sawyer back to meet the guy and Sawyer's going to kill him!"

"Well, that's what I think will happen."

"I know it's what you think! And now it's going to happen and I won't be surprised."

"Well, how do you think I feel? I know this too!"

"Shut up! The commercials are over."

Well, it played out like we thought. But the episode was still good, despite being predictable. I'm just glad there were a tiny bit of answers.

"You don't know that!" Matt yelled.

"What?"

"How can you be so sure it's not Hell or Purgatory?"

Before I could answer, Matt continued with the argument.

"Gah! Are you blind? It's obvious. It's been obvious from the start!"

"But..."

"They're not just trying to trick us! That's been the plan forever. They're prepping us to reveal the truth."

"..."

"Don't ignore me!"

Suddenly there was a large explosion outside. Parkman and I ran out to see a man running away with his suit on fire.

"Ted, what did you do?" Parkman asked.

"Me sit here on curb. People give Ted money. Me surprised first but me like! More come, give more money. But he no give money. Ted get mad!"

Thank God It's Here!

Well, I had planned to warn everyone about a possible Sylar from the future, but I forgot it was Wednesday night. So that didn't happen.

Before I headed off to New York with Sprague and Parkman, I had to break into a furniture store to catch the new episodes of Thank God You're Here and LOST. It was too dangerous to go home and watch it. Thus, my Tivo is wasting its time recording them, but I appreciate its loyalty nonetheless.

We left Sprague outside to stand guard. He sat on the curb, and probably fell asleep. The other reason was we didn't want him getting upset if this LOST episode sucked and was just a filler, then we'd have to deal with another nuclear meltdown.

So, Parkman and I broke in the back door and found the biggest HDTV in the store. Parkman reached for the remote and was about to push the power button.

"NooOOOocooO~!" I screamed and dived over a coffee table, knocking the remote from his greedy little paws. "Someone will see the light from the TV. We have to cover up the windows."

"Oh, ok."

"You start putting those mattresses along the windows while I check the motion sensors."

"Alright." He replieid. He began lifting a mattress off a bed, then looked at me and said, "Hey, wait a minute!"

I turned.

"You already disabled the motion detectors," he said. "You just want me to do all the work."

"What? No, it's not like that at all."

"Hello! I'm a mind-reader."

Crap! I forgot to plot in Japanese.

"You know, I'm going to learn Japanese one of these days, and then when you try that Japanese trick on me, it'll backfire."

Crap! I forgot to think my admission of guilt in Japanese.

"Just get over here and help me."

Update from Hacknor

Things are progressing well here on Hacknor. My team won immunity and one of the competition has gone home. He was an odd fellow. I can't say that I'll miss him.

This next challenge looks difficult. It's a scavenger hunt, but luckily we paired up and are each going after two items. Sandra might be mad, but I'm with an attractive female lieutenant. I know, a female lieutenant? I'm as shocked as you! Sometimes I forget this isn't the Fifties.

I hope the Other Me is doing okay on Earth. I read that he escaped Primatech. He just better not be maxing out my credit card shopping with Sprague and Parkman.