Wednesday, May 9, 2007

The Bar Fight

Our first stop was in a little Texas town called Sanger.

The three of us needed to steal a new vehicle. "There's a bar over there," I said. "We should find a car there to take. Why don't you guys find one while I get a drink?"

"Do you think they have donuts?" Parkman asked.

"Maybe. But I doubt it."

"Well, I'm going in too."

"Sprague, get us a good car," I hollered at the somewhat retarded caveman.

"Me want food!" he hollered back. "Me go too! Ted hunt big mammoth and make good fire on it!"

"I don't think they have mammoths, Ted. But come on in, we need some food for the road anyway."

The bar was what one would expect of a small Texas town. There were a few locals sipping whiskey at a wooden table. A couple guys talking at the bar. I got the feeling there were surely no donuts here. In fact, we'd be lucky if they had anything more than whiskey.

"What'll it be?" the bartender asked. Everyone eyed me down. I got nervous. I could feel their eyes judging me; thinking I don't belong here. It was like being in the school gym showers all over again.

It seems our costumes weren't enough. We couldn't pass as true cowfolk. And they could tell.

One man walked up to me and said, "Ye ain't from around here, are ye?"

Ted got angry. "Me from here!" he yelled.

"You ought control your boy there," another said to me. "Lest I have to break those pretty glasses of yours."

I looked over at Parkman, if a fight breaks out, the two of us have guns and can make a real mess of things. I just needed him in my head to plan it all out.

"Parkman?" I didn't see him.

"What did you call me?" one of the cowypeople said.

I ignored him. Where the heck is Parkman?

"Over here!"

I turned and saw Parkman standing behind the bar, serving drinks. What are you doing?

He just smiled at me. Then, as I turned around, I saw an angry cowpoke about to lay a punch on Ted.

"No!" I screamed, but someone pushed me down.

Two men attacked Ted. He left his club out in the car, so he had to resort to his power. I got up and dusted myself off.

Then, Ted's hands started glowing. He shot an explosion at one of the men and sent him flying out the window. Everyone stopped their cheering and hollering and stared at Ted. Then, the other guy lunged at him. I could see Ted ready to go nuclear. He was thinking it in that little mind of his.

"He's thinking about going nuclear!" Matt said.

I jumped in the middle of the two just in time. I grabbed Ted by the neck and held him down onto the bar, and pushed the cowguy away.

"We don't want any trouble here." I said. Ted began cooling down. "We'll be on our way now."

Luckily for you, someone snapped a picture:

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