Friday, October 5, 2007

Haitian Games

The Haitian came bearing good news and bacon bits. He managed to obtain a bootlegged copy of Halo 3 while vacationing, or whatever he was doing, in Haiti.

"To the Bat Cave!" I shouted. The two of us ran to the Copy Kingdom back room where we had a TV and Xbox 360.

The Haitian was disappointed. "This is no Bat Cave."

I had to do some quick alterations to the Xbox to get around the licensing check some evil company man must have installed. After that, it was smooth sailing.

"You're going down!" I said to The Haitian.

"We are playing Cooperative Mode."

"I'm still going to win."

Then the manager walked in. "Butler! This is a violation of several store policies. First, no playing video games unless on break. Second, no friends in the back, especially..." he glanced at The Haitian, "...Black ones. We don't want to be robbed!"

The Haitian threw bacon bits in his face. "I am not Black. I am Haitian."

"Hollow him out!" I said. It felt so good giving that order again.

The Haitian took care of my boss and we started playing the game again, in peace. I blasted away alien scum all over the place! Aliens stand no chance against my robotic-like gaming capabilities. This is almost just like what I used to do as a living. They should have named it "Halo 3: Paper salesman of the Year".

Unfortunately, aliens have tanks! Dastardly evil tanks. I've been blown up more times than Mohinder's last girlfriend. (What I mean is she was a suicide bomber, not what you're thinking.) It looks like we'll be on this level a while. I've tried shooting the tank, grenading the tank, jumping on the tank...nothing worked. The Haitian even tried suppressing its ability, but it was no use!

I probably won't blog for a while as The Haitian and I have a very important mission: Destroy that tank!

(Strategy Suggestions are appreciated, but don't get snobby.)


Elizabeth said...

ROTFL'ed about dr Suresh's girlfriend. :p

Oh, I must buy Halo 3 for my Xbox360 and try to destroy that tank too.

If everything fails, remember: run for your lives!

Anonymous said...

I love the comment from the manager. "No friends in the back... especially black ones" -To funny. I can see him saying something like that.

Go Haitian Go!