Monday, October 1, 2007

Makin' Copies

Ah, Copy Kingdom. It isn't much, but it pays the bills (which mostly consists of beauty products for Mr. Muggles).

I've been at this job for a while now and despite the mundanity, it is rather enjoyable. I made a pinky promise with my boss, or I guess I nearly broke his pinky, and so now he doesn't bother me. Which is good because there's a lot of work to be done!

My name may be Mr. Butler now, but I'm still the man in the horn-rimmed glasses; and that means I can't be a total bore and work a pointless 8 to 5 job like you probably are. I need action. I need mystery. I need secrets. And I could use a Haitian (Has anyone seen him?).

My good friend, and by good friend I mean person I decided not to bag and tag, and I have a plan. I did most of the thinking. Between the two of us, most people would think he'd be the brains, but his philosophical fiddle-farting gets us nowhere. I am a born leader. And thanks to me, Mohinder and I will soon bring down the company!

Step one is to infiltrate Primatech. I used Mohinder as bait. I'm actually getting really good at using people. Soon Mohinder will be deep inside the organization.

Step two takes advantage of my new job. Since I enjoy a nice lack of supervision now, I have a lot of free time on my hands. And this time is spent plotting! Here's my plotter:

Step three takes advantage of my plotting. I take the poster that I printed out and copy it. I do one copy every two hours and thirteen minutes, so I don't attract attention. Soon I'll have a ton of copies and I'll mail them to Suresh disguised as research materials. He'll take these posters and plaster them all around his place of employment. The posters will have a drastic effect on the company men and women. Their morale will plummet. They'll lose the very will to live. And the company will crumble!

If you happen to be an employee of the company, or know someone who is, and would like to help out, you can. Just print out the poster below and post it everywhere people tend to look, like the backs of bathroom stall doors or Peter's hair. You can even post them where people don't look, like the CBS Evening News or on your local marching band.

Here's the poster:


Elizabeth said...

I am working with the Haitian right now. He is so sweet. He calls me "Mr Bennet", dunno why. I think your old friend misses you. :<

Sylar said...

So you've like, given up tryin' to take lil ol' me down 'n are tryin' to take down the Company? But, if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have never met OMG!

Well, like, I guess I can see the like, benefit to that or some junk! Tell ya what, Mr. Glasses. I'll help! Just tell me where you are 'n I'll come tear that Company apart like I do to people's skulls (in fact, my like, main method probably will be skull tearing. It works wonders!).

P.S. I'm like, kinda a mercenary ya know? So I'll need payment. I'd be happy to accept your daughter's brain. LOL!

Anonymous said...

I love this blog btw!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That is a very good plan.