Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Well, I guess Who Wants to be a Super-Villain? didn't get all of the evil out of me because you'll never guess what I just did.

I'll give you a hint: It involved killing an old friend and mentor.

Give up?

I killed an old friend and mentor! Yep, poor little Ivan. His days of Hopak dancing are no more. Though, I may still attend his funeral. He'll be buried inside a casket inside a casket inside a casket inside a casket. Such was his wishes.

But it wasn't all for nothing. He told me where I could find the set of 8 Mendes paintings I've been looking for. They were here at this company warehouse in Odessa. I don't know why I didn't think to start here. I mean, it's the company's Odessa warehouse. If paintings aren't on the wall, they're in storage, right?

Another consequence of my actions is that I pretty much sealed my fate as a truly evil person. I did it all for Claire, though! I'm serious. Protecting that little indestructible cheerleader is my obsession. It's like trying to hide an invisible man. Or trying to lose to a mind-reader in a game of What Number Am I Thinking Of? It's a lot harder than you'd think!

And if eternal damnation is the price of protecting my Claire Bear, so be it. I'd do it for any of my family memebers...well, except Logan...or Larry? Loyd? Whoever he is! Claire Bear is the important one. Save her, save the world. Sandra and that other kid are just home decor, and potential decoys (that's why I tailored a cheerleading outfit for my son).

Hell won't be too bad though. Most of my friends, and all of my enemies will be there. Maybe Thompson will hire me to work at Hell's paper company? Even Hell needs quality paper and paper products. I'll finally get to see the true love of my life again, Eden McCain. I wonder if she remembers me? It's a shame she'll be there; she was such a nice young girl. Paper is an ugly business, but somebody has to do it. She knew that going into it. And, hey! Maybe Sylar and I can play on Hell's bowling league.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Ah but you're devotion to Claire is what really makes you a interesting character, er, to get to know.

Without that, you'd just be another gun-toting horn-rimmed glasses wearing company man with a penchant for shooting those who stand in your way.

West said...

I hope I'm the one to send you to hell. And then I hope I go to hell so I can kill you again.