Friday, November 30, 2007

Escape Attempt

The drugs have worn off. I can think clearly, and the time has come to leave this place.

I devised a brilliant plan. All I would need is five bowling pins, a bucket of dried leaves and a llama.

"Bob! Bob Bishop!" I yelled.

He hurried in. "What is it, Noah?"

"I need five bowling pins, a bucket of dried leaves and a llama."

"And why might that be?"

He was on to me! I had underestimated his cleverness. If I had a gun, I would just shoot him right now. Instead, I had to think quickly. "To help with the boredom, I replied.

"Sorry, Noah. I'm afraid we don't have those items on hand."

I could see right through his lies. It's never been like Bob to lack such essentials. Any good paper salesman would have these items stored nearby. If it wasn't for me having a llama years ago, West might have flown away from me. But I knew a llama with expert spitting capabilities would prevent that from happening, and it did.

Bob left while I was questioning his response in my mind. It seemed I would have to make do without those much needed supplies.

I looked around the room....nothing. It was just a naked me, a bed and a sheet.

It seemed hopeless, until I realized that the bed had wheels! I could use it to create a battering ram.

I began slamming my bed into the wall. Bang! Bang! Clank! Boom!

It had worked! The concrete fell apart before my eyes. I was a free man. I began pulling off the chucks of concrete and tossing them onto my cell floor. Light was sure to be on the other side.

Or so I thought. After removing enough concrete, all that was revealed was a slab of iron. Iron is impenetrable. Not even Superman's X-Ray vision can get through it. It was indeed hopeless. If only I had a llama.


sara said...


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Could you use an alpaca instead? I think I could get one.

It's best not to ask from where.

West said...



Oh, THAT explains why I keep getting panic attacks at petting zoos!