Sunday, October 26, 2008

New Policies - Part 1

"We need more men!" I screamed at The Haitian.

He replied, "..."

"I know, they're all dead!" I sunk into my chair. Things have been terrible in the paper business ever since the Level 5 incident. We've been going through agents faster than Ben Savage. It was definitely hindering our ability to sell paper and shoot bad guys.

I suppose we'd have to start recruitment.

If only West didn't disappear. That kid already started down the path toward becoming a Company Man.

Then, of course, there was Claire. She did surprise me with the way she got out of the huge mess she got into with Eric Doyle. But she's too young and too much my daughter. I would worry for her safety, even though ultimately I would be very proud to have my kid follow in my footsteps.

"What about me, Dad?" some whiny little boy asked.

"What are you doing here? Are you the new intern?"

"It's me, Lyle," the unfamiliar brat said. "I could be a paper salesman."

I just laughed and sent him back home.

This would have been much easier if we never had all those Level 5 villains escape. Stupid Elle. It's all her....

Elle. She's still on our payroll! She should be working for us!

I made my way to the boss's office to demand Elle's reinstatement.

"I know she's an entitled little bimbo, but gosh darn it, she's our entitled little bimbo!" I said as I knocked open the door.

Angela didn't reply.

Peter and Sylar stared at me, as though I had just urinated on their mother's grave or something.

"My mother..." Peter began to sob.

"Our mother!" Sylar announced.

"She has fallen into a cold, bitter state."

"Yeah, like that's a new development," I replied. "Look, I need a word with your mom. It's about Elle."

"She's in a coma," Sylar informed me.

"That's great!" I exclaimed. "That old hag has been running this paper company into the ground."

"Some studies suggest that coma patients can still hear," The Haitian said as he entered behind me.

"...uh, the ground is a great place for a paper company!" I quickly added. I grabbed The Haitian and darted out of the room.

In the hallway outside Angela's room, I said to The Haitian, "I think this makes me the boss."


"That's just what I was thinking!" It was time to make some changes around here.

To be concluded....


Claire B said...

You are so dumb sometimes. I can't work for you if I'm giving you the silent treatment. Duh.

Elizabeth said...

Can I be a Company Girl? Pleeeeease?