Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Who You Gonna Call?

Has anyone seen the electrifying blonde bimbo?

I left several voicemails for her, but no response. It's like she's avoiding me, or found another evil company to work for.

"Hello, Elle? It's Mr. Bennet. Look, I don't know if this is still your number or not, but it's all we had on file. Please, contact me as soon as you get this. We really need a new receptionist. Our current one is having hip replacement surgery, so we have to find someone to fill her shoes for a few months. You were the first person we thought of! So, give me a call."

I just left my last message for her when I got an important phone call from...Claire's Bio-Daddy!

Yes, if I had a mortal enemy (other than The Company, Mohinder, occasionally Claire, Sylar and all the other villains I've bagged and tagged over the years), then he certainly would be it.

Ever since the pajama incident, he and I just haven't gotten along.

"Those stupid-looking pajama bottoms make your butt look big."

Then, there's the whole family drama of having his and Meredith's daughter as my own.

"Hurry, Noah," he said over the phone. "There's something strange in our neighborhood!"

"Hey, I told your brother to call me Noah. It's still Mr. Bennet to you." I snapped at him.

"Whatever. Just get down here. Tracy and I are scared. Well, mostly me. Hurry! I don't want her seeing me like this. We don't know what to do!" Okay, maybe that wasn't his exact words, the details are fuzzy. The point is, I put our differences aside and went in to help him.

Meredith and I hopped into our pimped out Nissan.

I arrived, as I always do, just in time.

"I ain't 'fraid of no cocoons," I said as I fired my taser.

The cocoon man that was pretending to attack my friends (in the John McCain sense of the word, meaning people I haven't shot yet) was momentarily electrified long enough for them to escape its grasp. I remember the good ol' days when instead of tasers, I'd just give Elle a squeeze and she'd fire off a few rounds. We need to find that girl....

"Wow," Nathan's latest blonde acquaintance said, "that sexy man in horn-rimmed glasses just saved our lives. He's so mysterious."

Nathan rolled his eyes.


Elizabeth said...

Blondes, blondes, blondes. I'm waay funnier then them.
And, uh, if there's no job in the Company for me, then I'm off.

Claire B said...

Dad, that ho would make an AWFUL receptionist. She's a boyfriend stealer.