Thursday, October 30, 2008

Where's the Beef?

"Okay," Tracy finally said after having it explained for the fifth time. "I've heard enough."

"So you understand now?" I asked.

"Yeah....Nathan's been with everyone and their twin, and you have his illegitimate daughter to prove it."

See? It's not that complicated. I decided to move on to the next step. Collecting evidence.

"Well, well, Mr. Cocoon Man," I said as I cut off part of his encasement. "Looks like you've made quite the mess." I dropped the sample of his cocoon into a plastic baggy.

Having collected the evidence, I grabbed Meredith, and we returned to the office. I pulled into the Primatech parking lot where we exited the vehicle.

"Hey, there!" I called to Meredith as she headed for her own car. "Aren't you going to stick around the office for lunch?"

"No, sorry," she replied. "I really want to get back and see Claire."

"Alright, suit yourself."

I knew the best part of working was lunch. There was no way I was going to waste it on some ungrateful daughter I see everyday. This was my one hour of complete freedom from the grind. I'm on my own time during my lunch hour. I can shoot whomever I want, without worrying about about getting a sexual discrimination lawsuit filed against me.

The Haitian joined me at our regular table. He, like always, had a couple twigs and three quarters of a fish head. "Well, well," I said reaching into my paper sack, "let's see what the misses packed for me."

"Yuck," The Haitian commented as I plopped the foul-looking pseudo-food onto the table. "What is it?"

"Hmm...looks egg sandwich?" Sure, Sandra's cooking rarely looked good, but well, sometimes it tasted decent enough. And with the current economic situation, there was no way I'd be giving into the Dollar Menu.

I bit into the strange food. "Yum," I said, lying. Chewing was difficult, but I managed. I quickly finished the rest and washed it down with a glass of water.

The Haitian just finished his last twig and then said, "Back to work?"

"Yeah," I replied, scraping my tongue with sandpaper. "We've got some evidence for the lab to examine."

"I will take it there immediately," he replied diligently.

"Here you-" I reached into my paper bag and felt around. "Well, that's odd...where's the-"


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