Sunday, April 22, 2007

Time and Space Bendiness

Well, great! Now they tell me. I already arrived on Planet Hacknor for Last Gladiator Standing 2, and now I get the strangest news.

Jon, whom I suspect to be an Intergalactic Gladiator, pulled me aside from all the malignant mingling going on at the landing pad. "There was some fine print in your contract, by the way, and I think I should tell you about it."

"The part about peanut brittle? I swear, I don't have any!" Not on me anyway, ha!

"No, it's not that."

"Is it about the talk show rounds?"

"No. It's a matter of physics. You see, while you're participating here, there's another you on Earth still sitting in Primatech."


"Space travel seems to induce time travel, and as a result, you're you from one time, and there's another you from another time on Earth."

"But, how is that possible?"

"Theoretically, it's not. These things just happen."

"Oh, alright then. Nevermind. For a minute there I was perplexed!"

"No need to be perplexed, HRG."

"Please, call me Mr. Bennet."

"I'd rather not. But here's the important thing. Your existence is dependent on Other HRG's existence. If he dies, then you would never have existed, and therefor, you'd be dead too."


"Don't worry, there's some good news."

"What's that?"

"You'll be able to see what Other You is up to from time to time."


"He'll be writing in your blog occasionally."



"Yes! He's a horrible writer!"

1 comment:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Yeah, do not ask me to explain the complexities of space/time travel. Some science dude tried to explain it to me once and I was all like "What?" then he was all like "Blah blah blah relativity, blah blah blah infinity therum, blah blah blah anal probe." It's just so complex.