Thursday, April 26, 2007


Gah! Toes! Hairy toes! Right in my waffles. That caveman jumped up on the table and got his disgusting toes in my glorious waffles! They're ruined!

For those of you who don't know, getting feet in your waffles is less than ideal. But it's even worse when they're caveman feet.

I sent Ted to go play on the Burnt Toast Diner computer and ordered some more waffles.

"But, what if I die?" Matt asked. He was still concerned about the plan to take out Primatech's tracking system.

"I'm just saying it's very dangerous. It was more for rhetorical effect than anything. One of us may not even die. It's just a ploy to get everyone worked up."


"Well, me, you and Ted."

"But I could die, right?"

"Well, maybe."

"I can't die! I'm going to be a father. My wife is pregnant. She's going to have a baby. The baby is going to be my kid. That will make me its dad. I have to be there for my kid."

"Well, maybe he'll die instead," I said, nodding toward Ted.

"But if he dies, he might blow up and kill us all."

"Hmm....guess we'll have to let you die then."

"But my wife is pregnant! I can't die. I'm about to be a father. I have a pregnant wife. The lady I married is pregnant. I impregnated my wife. She has a fetus inside her!"

"Calm down. If we're smart, we won't die."

"We're all going to die!" He screamed. Customers looked at us. I'm surprised we haven't been kicked out yet. First Ted jumps up on the table, and now Parkman is crying like a baby. "Stop crying like a baby!"

"I'm going to have a baby. It'll probably cry too if I'm not there! I have to live. I have to be a father!"

"I'm just saying it's risky. But we have to do it. We have to try. With yours and Ted's abilities and my ingenuity, the odds may be in our favor." I looked over at Ted. He was typing away like a radical wheat monkey. "Can you read his mind?"

"Yeah, no problem. But if I die, then I can't read minds or be a father, so remember that."

"Whatever, just tell me what he's thinking."

Matt focused hard on Ted, his eyes squinting. "He's thinking....ooh, ooh, aaaah, ooh."

"Gah! He's thinking in caveman!"


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Careful, you just might get toe-main poisoning there.

Toe-main! Get it? Hah, I slay me sometimes!

Professor Xavier said...

There's really nothing more annoying than someone crying like a baby. Maybe if you give him one of those toes to suck on, he'll calm down.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God, we have a caveman where I am right now, too! Maybe Tim and he are related.