Sunday, February 11, 2007

Politician-Kidnapping 101

Well, a while back I made a big mistake, which I blame on my wife, while trying to kidnap a guy. He got away, so now I'm going to have to get him again.

There were two people to choose from. I went with the weaselly politician. Why did I pick him over the crazy lady? I flipped a coin! Honestly. I'm not hiding anything about that man.

So, rule number one. Never insult the man's pajama bottoms.

"Those stupid-looking pajama bottoms make your butt look big."

Well, once you insult a man's pajama bottoms you unleash a monster of anger seeking his just revenge.

Not to mention dirty feet.

And of course, being kicked hurts. Nerds aren't made for kicking. I'm sure if it weren't for having a gun, he would have kicked The Haitian instead. Guess I should get him a gun too. Apparently, the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets doesn't help much against a half-naked Republican.

So, remember kids, never insult a man's pajama bottoms, unless you want to be kicked in the face with a dirty foot and left in an empty parking lot because The Haitian forgot where he parked.

"Um...I'm pretty sure we parked on the ground."


Peter said...

You kidnapped my brother? How could you! Good thing you got him instead of me. I probably would have just curled myself into a ball and cried.

Hmmm. I wonder why Nathan never told me about this? He never tells me anything! Why won't he let me into his life!

Niki said...

Those were some sexy p.j's...

-Lo said...

LOL. I so have to go back to your archives and start reading :)


Anonymous said...

Stop emo'ing or I'll eat you, Peter. And I don't even know you -- but I've heard that emo tastes kind of stringy.

mr glasses, I can't believe you kidnapped a half-naked man. You could have at least done him the favor of stealing those awful shorts of his, too. ^_^ It would have made a prettier picture.