Sunday, February 11, 2007

Politician-Kidnapping 101

Well, a while back I made a big mistake, which I blame on my wife, while trying to kidnap a guy. He got away, so now I'm going to have to get him again.

There were two people to choose from. I went with the weaselly politician. Why did I pick him over the crazy lady? I flipped a coin! Honestly. I'm not hiding anything about that man.

So, rule number one. Never insult the man's pajama bottoms.

"Those stupid-looking pajama bottoms make your butt look big."


Well, once you insult a man's pajama bottoms you unleash a monster of anger seeking his just revenge.

Not to mention dirty feet.



And of course, being kicked hurts. Nerds aren't made for kicking. I'm sure if it weren't for having a gun, he would have kicked The Haitian instead. Guess I should get him a gun too. Apparently, the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets doesn't help much against a half-naked Republican.



So, remember kids, never insult a man's pajama bottoms, unless you want to be kicked in the face with a dirty foot and left in an empty parking lot because The Haitian forgot where he parked.

"Um...I'm pretty sure we parked on the ground."

4 comments:

Peter said...

You kidnapped my brother? How could you! Good thing you got him instead of me. I probably would have just curled myself into a ball and cried.

Hmmm. I wonder why Nathan never told me about this? He never tells me anything! Why won't he let me into his life!

Niki said...

Those were some sexy p.j's...

-Lo said...

LOL. I so have to go back to your archives and start reading :)

-Lo

Svetlana Smith said...

Stop emo'ing or I'll eat you, Peter. And I don't even know you -- but I've heard that emo tastes kind of stringy.

mr glasses, I can't believe you kidnapped a half-naked man. You could have at least done him the favor of stealing those awful shorts of his, too. ^_^ It would have made a prettier picture.