Thursday, February 15, 2007

My Woman

She may not be much of a looker now, but you should have seen her 20 years ago. OK, that's a lie. She wasn't much of a looker back then either. And come to think of it, she's never been that smart either. But here lately, she's been a complete idiot.

Claire Bear and I are trying to help her out, but it's difficult. It's like trying to load software on a PC without any media drives.

I'm starting to wonder if The Haitian is causing it. She's had her memory erased by him so many times. But he's supposedly FDA approved. I can't see how that would be causing her to become delusional and dumb.

Personally, I want to blame TV. She's what you could call a "shut in" and spends an insane amount of time watching television. And recently I read a report on how Soap Operas will kill you. It was on someone's blog, so you know it's true. These blog people do a lot of research and really get to the center of a story like major news channels cannot.

And Sandra sure loves her soap operas. But with the memory erasing, she finds it hard to follow the story arcs from week to week. I guess all you really need to know is that some good-looking people had some affairs, kissed some other good-looking people and got slapped. It should be easy enough to follow along.

Her memory problem has been quite a bother to Claire Bear and me. Lyle too, I guess, but we don't really care about him.

Sandra hasn't been making supper. I usually cook breakfast before I head off to work. But since I'm busy making paper, she would handle supper in the evenings. But she's been falling behind with her duties.

So, Claire Bear's been trying to help her remember things.

"This is a plate. Plates are our friends."

Now we just need her to stop throwing "our friends" at the Pomeranian. Any suggestions?


Anonymous said...

Introduce her to my friend Jack Daniels. That's a friend she'll never want to throw!

I think you need a friend, mr glasses. Would you like a hug?


PS: I get the distinct impression that Claire Bear might not like you very much!

Kitty said...

Well, I think you need to buy her a new pomeranian. Name it Gordy, then Mr. Muggles will get jealous and run away. Problem solved! New dog, and the old dog isn't bothering your wife!

BTW- I have a huge crush on you HRG! I totally love you. Leave your wife for me?

Kitty said...

oh yeah, and watch out for Hana and Ted ok? You need to keep yo bitches on a leash!

Sylar said...

i wuz this close 2 killing ur wife! n then u wudnt be havin these problems! i cud haf solved evrythin 4 u mr glasses!

Darkflame said...

I blame you Sylar. You and the Hatian keep battling for HRG's wife is going to kill the poor girl.